Moving On
by PCGirl
Summary: John searches for Natalie after telling her it's Marty he is with.  But is it too late?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story came to me in a dream back in April so it's actually set before Marty lost the baby. I wrote it down and posted it at a few places, but never here. I do help ya'll enjoy. Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

John knocked on the door waiting for Lois to answer. When she didn't he began to knock harder-maybe Natalie had let her have the day off, since Jess would be at school right now it should be only her here at the moment. The fight from yesterday kept ringing over and over in his head, and the words he yelled at her,

_Just go Natalie. Stop being a psycho and leave Marty alone, ok? It's not you. There can't be anything between us now or ever again. Just go._

He needed to apologize-his feelings for her were still there, and maybe once the baby was born he could figure out how to balance them and being a father to someone elses child. But until then it could be nothing-had to be. Not that he had the right to ask her to wait that long anyways.

"Open up Natalie-I know you're home," he shouted as he began to bang harder, expecting her to show up behind him any second like she did the night of Mike's bachelor party. Just days before he nearly lost her they'd had that blow out fight-maybe this time would be different.

When she didn't answer, despite the constant buzzing of the bell and beating on the door he went to a small rock on the walkway and picked it up, pulling out the extra key she'd shown him once when she left her keys and had to stop by on the way home from work. He'd joked that even the rich hide their keys in a fake rock.

Letting himself in he shouted up the steps again, "Natalie-come down. I need to talk to you." But the large house was silent in response and he wondered if she wasn't home afterall. Taking the steps up slowly something came over him and he began taking them faster, speeding up as he got to her bedroom door and opened it to see the room was perfectly clean, bed made and an envelope sitting on it addressed to her mom.

It was the oddness of that which gave him his second queazy feeling so walking into the closet he flipped the switch and saw her luggage was gone, along with a majority of clothes. The note wasn't addressed to him, but he was pretty sure what it was going to say as he picked it up and read it.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there before his phone went off, "What's up Oliver?" he asked as he wiped off a stray tear and began to put the letter back in the envelope.

"John, I'm with Kyle-Marty's had an accident and you need to meet us at the hospital."

* * *

_Several months later_

John checked the address as he got out of the car and went towards the building. Of all the places in America that she could have gone to and settled down, this was not where he expected to find her. She hadn't been hard to find, but he still kicked himself for waiting so long until he started his search.

He wasn't sure what he would say first, but he expected whatever it might be was aptly deserved.

Knocking on the door he saw there was only one other car in the lot-a blue Lexus SC 430 convertible. Perfectly Natalie as he pictured her driving around with the top down.

He expected someone else to answer, an assistant or other partner, so was taken off guard when she opened the door and stood silent in front of him, "I've got a client coming in a few minutes. Make it quick."

"I have to tell you something," he said, unsure as to where to start so he thought the beginning would suffice, "Marty lost the baby."

Natalie stood there, blank stared at him for a second before speaking, "Well, thank you for traveling 2,400 miles to tell me that," and shut the door in his face.


	2. Chapter 2

John was tired of driving around in circles, he needed to come up with a better plan than obviously showing up at Natalie's work to talk to her. That was really the only link that had brought him here-he'd cashed in a favor with a Bureau friend and found an application for a PI license for a Natalie B. Banks.

What he couldn't find was a place of residence along with any activity on her credit cards since she stopped for gas the day she left Llanview. Giving up for the moment he pulled the rental into a lot next to a bar. The place didn't look like a dive, but he really didn't care if it was.

Walking in the door he saw the red hair beauty leaning over the pool table and mentally cursed. Shit. She hadn't seen him yet-he could go back outside and wait til she left, follow her home-yeah, that sounded like a stalker and totally went against why he came here in the first place.

He took a few steps towards her as she figured out her next move, but left room in case the stick became a sudden weapon. "Don't arch your back," he grinned, remembering the first time he told her that. The grin was still there when she turned around, a look of shock on her face.

"How the hell did you find me here?" she whispered as to not cause a scene.

John pursed his lips to think of a sarcastic comment but stuck with the truth, "I didn't. Not on purpose. Got tired of driving around this town and thought I'd stop here for a bite and try and refocus my search. Apparently I don't have to refocus it very hard now."

"Why do you care where I am, John?" she asked, and John saw it clearly now. The barriers were back up-she'd had months to be angry at him and remind herself how he treated her before they broke up.

Taking a tentative step forward he spoke softly, not breaking eye contact, "Listen-can we just talk?"

"Fine, but it doesn't mean anything," she said as she put down the pool cue and walked over to a table in the corner. "And for the record, I already heard about Marty and the baby and I'm sorry. You'll be a good father someday, I know it."

"Thanks," he said as he remembered walking out of Llanfair half wanting to chase after her and the other half knowing where his obligation had to be at the moment. "How'd you find out? I thought you weren't talking to anyone back home."

"I have been-off and on. They know what I'm doing and I know how it's all going back there. I was planning on going to Bo and Nora's wedding, but something came up and I couldn't."

"So what exactly is it you've been doing?"

"Tracking down Mitch's followers," she said very matter-of-factly and seeing a flash of anger before his eyes. "It's my life John-and trust me I think the worst are already behind bars. And for the record-I'm usually a step or so ahead of you," she said as he gave her a puzzled look so she had to clarify. "The anonymous information you found about Melinda Cramer's death-."

"Was you," he finished, being proud of her as she nodded. "Next question-why here? Why Vegas?"

"Well, it's not for the lights and the glamour, obviously," she grinned, for a split second and then stopped. "This was where I began to lose myself-and I thought maybe if I found that bit maybe I could move on. Don't get cocky, McBain-I spent time in Napa too. It's not all about you."

"You're right-don't know what I was thinking. Take care, Natalie," he said as he got up and walked out of the bar without looking back.

* * *

Natalie unlocked her office door the next morning and reset the alarm. She had barely slept the night before-having John McBain in her life caused her to do that, but he wouldn't be a problem anymore. Probably took the red eye back to Llanview last night, she thought as she turned on the light.

Seeing him sitting there in her chair made her jump, "John. What-? How did you get in here?"

"Your alarm code is Llanview's zip code," he said as he stood up and walked around. "Not very smart Natalie."

"Well, I wasn't exactly expecting anyone to be breaking in here that knew me so well. Why are you here?"

"The last time we talked-I said some things that were wrong. And I went to your house to apologize and you'd left. Given up and left town. That's not you, Natalie."

"It had to be-I didn't have a choice because I was having feelings for you when I couldn't. And I want you to be happy-that's all I've ever wanted. So now that you know the truth now, John you can leave with a clear conscience," she said as she opened the door to give him an easy exit.

She watched as John walked around the desk and placed his hand over hers that covered the doorknob. "No, I'm not going," he said as he pushed the door back shut. "You need to know what happened when I got to the hospital. I was sitting there, grieving for a child I never would get to meet, and yet some part of me needed you. The only person who would let me grieve the way I wanted. Let me sit up on the roof of the hotel and say nothing-just sit. And you weren't there."

"We've been apart for years John-why is this all coming out now?" she asked, wondering if his answer would match hers.

John thought for a moment before speaking, "Because we've spent the past couple of years trying to move on. Trying to find happiness where it never existed. We might have been happy for awhile-might have found someone else that would help us mask the pain of giving up on each other, but it wasn't for the long haul. It's you and me, Natalie. It has been for a while now," he said as he brushed her hair out of her face and waited for a response.

"Wow-when you finally decide to speak it all comes out," she smiled at him, and tried not to let the tears welling in her eyes blur her vision of him.

"Yeah," he said with a smirk as he pulled her into a deep kiss. And as they let the passion reunite in each other they knew this was where they were supposed to be.


End file.
